Sophisticated Madness

The Mercedes ML is a menacing looking vehicle and if you’ve ever had one behind you in traffic, you would have probably noticed styling queues like the big front grill that makes it look like it sucks in small cars for fun.
Well now Merc offer a new Sports Package on the ML 350, ML 350 CDI and ML 500, which means it gets even more in your face. The sports package includes things like 20’ alloy wheels, a chrome lower lip, if you will, on the front bumper, rectangular chrome tailpipes, a chrome sill guard on the rear bumper, and over all more chrome. Inside you get electrically adjustable front seats, sports instrument cluster, brushed stainless steel sport pedals and a few other cosmetic perks. Now don’t get me wrong, I really like all these changes. The ML looks more likely to beat you up for your lunch money than it has ever before, but having said that, there is a ML in the range that will rip your head off, just for the fun of it…the ML 63 AMG.
Now if you’re thinking that I might have taken advantage of my new position to drive a very powerful car for the first edition of our motoring insert, you would be absolutely correct. I have always wanted to drive the monster renowned for being able to pack all your organs neatly next to your spine every time you edge it on a little more than you should.

When writing a review on a vehicle you have to take all the small things into account, such as, is the vehicle too high? No, the ML 63 AMG is fitted with AIRMATIC air suspension which means you can raise and lower the vehicle at the touch of a button. Are the seats comfortable? The front seats are Active Multicontour seats, which means absolutely everything about them is adjustable, and no matter what body shape you have, you will find a combination that works for you. Is it child friendly? You know what, it’s a completely functional mom’s taxi, except if the kids aren’t behaving and are a little restless, all you do is push your right foot closer to the floor, watch as the ML drops a couple of gears and brace yourself. The thrust will push your uneasy children firmly into their seats, and the shock of what happened will leave them speechless for some time.
Speaking of power, the ML 63 AMG is powered by a naturally aspirated 6.2 liter V8 power plant that produces 375 kW and 630 Nm of torque. The bucket loads of power are sent to all four wheels via a 7 speed G-TRONIC automatic gearbox. The ML 63 AMG will do 120 in third gear, so basically the rest are there just to help you land in jail faster. Average, claimed, fuel consumption is 16.5 l/100km, but when you are dropping just under R1.2 million on the table for a vehicle, I don’t think fuel accounts bother you that much. Mercedes claim that this beast will do 0 – 100 in 5 seconds. I would love to tell you that I managed this time, but being the armature that I am, I was just so taken aback by the shear savage of this machine every time I put my foot down, that I wouldn’t have been able to time it anyway.
The ML 63 AMG, however, isn’t a punch-your-lights-out-every-time-you-drive-it vehicle either though. In comfort mode, cruising along at town speeds is as comfortable as, I imagine, driving your bed down the main street would be. The ride is so refined and the cabin is one of the nicest places to find yourself in. Almost every optional extra is standard on the AMG, from satellite navigation down to the LINGUATRONIC voice-operated control system. In ordinary people terms, that means you push a button on the steering wheel and tell the GPS where you want to go, or the CD player which track on which CD you want to listen to and so on. Another interesting option that is standard on the AMG is the R7000 Harman Kardon sound system, which is pretty, excuse the term, bangin’. It must be mentioned that this system is a complete waste in this vehicle, because every red-blooded male will find themselves driving with the windows wide open, absorbing the sound of that glorious V8. It’s a sound track that I could listen to over and over again, and I promise I will never get bored of it.
So as I write this, and my stomach slowly unwinds its self from around my spine, I can only find one major flaw with this otherwise masterpiece of a vehicle, and that is that I can’t have it.